hhhhh

apparently i've been logged in on this SCHOOL COMPUTER for like a month
wow
i got a new moleskine the other day and it's perfect
i filled up the other one
i'm excited for spring and flowers and warm weather i cannot wait until this town is drenched in heat
i love louisville in the summer
i leave for new york with ryan in less than two weeks
i'm getting a new graduation dress soon
life is weird time is weird

tho ug htz

gahhhh hi i had a shoot today with model crissa candler and it went well but it was so cold: 28º and our fingers and toes froze off and then i made crissa lay in the snow. the cold weather and almost sliding off a hill in her car twice put me in an eh mood and i really need some coffee to cheer me up. my mom's making me some now though (':

i need new music to listen to as well. i was just listening to crystal castles and now i'm listening to kraftwerk. i super really like kraftwerk!

last night i went to ryan's house and we had a dandy time watching the x-files and cuddling and watching jeopardy with his parents :')

i really love my ryan my perfect boyfriend a lot

tomorrow i'm waking up at 6am and alida is picking me up at 7, we're driving to hank's farm for hair and makeup by casey and pursuing a shoot with a lot of wonderful bare elements.

i'm kind of worried about the snow because today i was just miserable shooting and of course crissa was more than cold, but we're shooting on hank's property right by his house so it shouldn't be too bad.

i'm envisioning really beautiful crystal clear photos for tomorrow and i hope i deliver with that

i might take a nap soon (probably not) but goodnight!

calm v storm

sometimes i feel really good about working on this photography life i'm apparently leading and sometimes i just feel lost and overwhelmed. i'm so happy i'm going to therapy today because i can talk about this there, too. this blog is a sort of therapy for me as well.

i have so much going on, i'm planning for 2 trips: one to chicago at the end of february and one to new york city at the beginning of april. ahhhhhhhhhhH
on top of that i have to spend a boatload of my own money on equipement for my career and i feel guilty but it's MY money so i can do what i want with it. life is life is life is i don't know life is life. 

i just gotta take things one step at a time, one thing on my to-do list at a time. gahh.

happy but crooked life

currently:

hi
my life is so crazy right now and i am a coffee addict
i'm scanning in negatives and it's taking foooorever
i really want a nice digital camera because i crave that kind of thing right now
my hair never looks nice so i hide it under my pink hat that ryan's mom gave me for christmas
i really need spring, so spring please come to meeeeee
last night grace and i were driving home from lexington and it was really great, we have the same brain-you know- things work the same in both of our heads
i'm so tired of big sweaters and tights with toe-holes
i want shorts and 90's outfits and flowers
ryan and i are so happy right now
we've been dating for 3 and a half years as of yesterday
which is nice to think about :)
i want my life to have more meaning
i'm so lost with school right now
i feel alone in the crowds of people and i scowl at everyone
people know who i am and it's weird
oh well

i love you, feat. my new dress

 happy 3 and a half years on january 26th, rnr
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo